Why Is My Teenage Daughter So Mean To Me?
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Why Is My Teenage Daughter So Mean To Me?

Teenage is the most important period of the socialization and development of a person. And it is the most difficult age to control as well as it is the most important period to take care of.

It is the nature of teenagers to act stubborn, disrespectful, and ungrateful. If you are a parent of a teenage daughter, you may exactly have this experience.

Most of the time, parents raise the matter, why is my teenage daughter so mean to me. In this matter, as parents, you need to be more flexible and understand the situation of your teenage daughter and should find solutions for it. 

When searching for answers for why my teenage daughter is so mean to me, there are several reasons for your daughter to behave so. Some of them are the stress of adapting to new physical and emotional changes within her, developing a sense of independence, overconfidence, generation gap, new friends, and relationships. Due to these reasons, your daughter may be so mean to you, and you have to understand their situation and should find appropriate measures to deal with them.

By reading this article, you may understand why my teenage daughter is so mean to me. Then, let’s focus on signs of your teenage daughter’s ungrateful behavior and some ways you can use to deal with them.

Finally, I’ll let you know some facts you should avoid while dealing with your teenage daughter. So, if you are a parent of a teenage daughter, this article will suit you to find answers to your worries.

Let’s get started.

Why is my teenage daughter so mean to me?

As a parent with a teenage daughter, you need to identify that your daughter is no more a little kid that you used to cuddle. During the teenage years, girls are facing more changes than boys.

They experience a huge change in their physical, emotional, behavioral, environmental, and intellectual spheres. Girls attain puberty during this age, making them stressed to adapt to new conditions in their lives.

With the changes in hormones, they are starting to transform in personality, feelings, friends, and relationships. Within this change process in your daughter, as parents, you may ask, ‘why is my teenage daughter so mean to me.’ Yes, it is natural.

There are several reasons for your teenage daughter to act in that way towards you. As parents, you need to have much patience during this period.

1. Stress to adapt to new changes

As we already discussed, teen girls face huge changes in their lifestyle during this age. It starts with physical changes and then expands into psychological, emotional, and behavioral changes.

Trying to adapt to these new changes make them uncomfortable and stressed, and their bad behavior towards you occurred as a result of that,

2. Develop a sense of independence

Teenagers are increasing their sense of independence in their teenage years, and they start to work independently with their own decisions.

They consider themselves elders and start to think that they have grown enough to behave independently.

Therefore, they don’t like the interference of parents and act mean towards them due to that.

3. Overconfidence

Due to their young age and energy level, teenagers are over-confident about themselves and try to control others. Therefore, your teen girl may try to argue with you.

They are over-confident about their own decisions while ignoring others. It is the common nature of their age, and you have to endure it.

4. Generation gap

The generation gap is one of the major reasons for your teenage daughter to be mean to you.

Since you and your daughter belong to two different generations, there is a matter of understanding between the two parties.

Due to these generation differences, they may feel you as irritation, making them mean towards you.

5. Friends and relationships

Your daughter begins to be closer to her friends and startup relationships during this age.

They may feel closer, loved, and secure within that environment with their new friends and partners. It makes them away from family and parents. 

Signs of her ungrateful behavior

When your daughter turns into a teenager, then she may start to change the way she treats you. Then parents worry that “why is my teenage daughter so mean to me.”

Let’s first identify some signs that can be witnessed from your daughter, which proves her ungrateful behavior towards you.

1. Disrespect

Your teen girl becomes stubborn and shows disrespect towards you when they grow up with age.

They won’t follow your orders and behave disobediently. You may feel stressed and worried due to this disrespect of your teen daughter.

2. Less talk

Your daughter may reduce conversations with you and try to confine with her sphere.

She will just talk to you for needs, and there won’t be loving discussions and sharing ideas like earlier when you had with your daughter when she was a kid. 

3. More time with technology

Your teenage daughter may start to spend more time with her mobile phone, computer, and social media, which is one of the signs of her ungrateful behavior towards her parents.

She tries to isolate herself from an independent world, and you may not have space to enter it.

4. Arguments

She starts to argue with you about every little thing and always tries to prove that her views are more accurate.

She tries to overthrow your control of her through arguments, and her high-tempered arguments can make you hurt and heartbroken.

5. Stubborn decisions and actions

Your teenage daughter may enjoy making her decisions independently. She tries to follow her way of behaviors, styles, fashion, and relationships.

She may act stubbornly and never follow your rules and consider your views. 

How to deal with my teenage daughter?

After identifying answers for the matter, why is my teenage daughter so mean to me? You need to find out ways to deal with your daughter to reduce the situation.

Here are some steps you can follow when your teenage daughter acts so mean towards you. 

1. Be patient

The first thing you should remember when dealing with your teenage daughter is to not get angry and stay patient with them.

When they treat you ungrateful with no respect, they become more stubborn if you also get angry and act the same. So, be patient and find out reasons and solutions.

2. Give responsibilities

During this age, your daughter wants to be treated as an elder. Therefore it is a good way to give her some family responsibilities to accomplish.

Take her engage in family discussions in decision making and allow her to feel that her views matter.

Then she feels independent and important, and then her bad behavior towards you may reduce.

3. More attention

Teenage is the most controversial age of your daughter. Therefore you have to give her more attention during this period.

Girls fall into unsuitable relationships, friend circles, bad behaviors, and addictions during this period.

Due to them, they may be separated from you further. So be aware of the things your daughter does.

4. Praise and rewards

Always appreciate her talents and good qualities as well as her achievements. Give her praise and rewards that are appropriate for her age and reward things that she loves.

Through that, you can rebuild your relationship with your daughter.

5. More understanding

Identify the generation gap between you and your daughter and try to think from their perspective.

You have to understand that the generation has changed and your daughter’s views and ideas differ from yours.

The world has changed, and fashion, styles, media usage, relationships are changed when you’re a young age.

So, being understanding is effective for your relationship with your daughter. 

What should I avoid while interacting with her?

Similar to the things you should follow while dealing with your teenage daughter in the way of searching solutions for the matter, why is my teenage daughter so mean to me, there are things that you should avoid while interacting with her as well.

I hereby mention some facts and try to avoid them when dealing with your teenage daughter. 

1. Discussions with bad timing

Avoid discussions with bad timing with your daughter since they can make the situation worse.

It is not suitable to have discussions when your daughter is busy or in a bad temper. In addition, don’t choose times when you are angry for discussions.

2. Giving lectures

Your daughter, who is a teenager, may hate your lectures, and she doesn’t like to hear your experience and comparisons to your life with her life.

Therefore, you have to avoid lecturing your daughter about the way she should behave and spend time. Instead, discussions may sound good. 

3. Arguments

Don’t jump into arguments with your teenage daughter and try to avoid them. Your daughter may always try to argue with you.

In such situations, it is better to stay patient and calm down without getting angry or arguing.

4. Criticizing

You have to avoid criticizing your teenage daughter’s behavior, fashion, and style.

If you notice things that you don’t like or are inappropriate for her, try to discuss them with your daughter rather than criticize them.

5. Setting rules

Since your daughter is not a child anymore, your rules and boundaries may not work well.

Therefore, avoid setting rules for your teenage daughter, and it may make her more stubborn and rude. It will break your relationship more.


After reading this article now, you are aware of the reasons that led your teenage daughter to treat you mean to you, and you have identified the signs of her ungrateful behavior.

Then to deal with your stubborn teenage daughter, you have got to know the steps you should follow and the things that should be avoided. So, as parents with a teenage daughter, it is common for you to ask why is my teenage daughter so mean to me.

Don’t get worried or disappointed in such a situation, and try to deal positively and rebuild the relationship with your daughter.

Thank you for reading. Stay tuned with BestFamilyLife for more good content.

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