Everyone gives more importance in their lives to family bonds than any other relationship in society. We say ‘blood is thicker than water.’ The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren plays a significant role here.
But it can be commonly seen that grandchildren ignore their grandparents. And grandparents will always wonder why do my grandchildren ignore me?
Accordingly, I will discuss all the related information on the reasons for grandchildren to ignore their grandparents, how to bond with grandchildren, how to deal with disrespectful grandchildren.
Finally, I will come out with tips for improving the grandparent-grandchildren relationship. Once you finish reading this article, you will have a clear idea about the grandparent-grandchildren relationship.
I have listed the topics below that I discuss in this post. Feel free to jump straight to the one you are interested in. Let’s get started!
Why do my grandchildren ignore me?
There are no completely perfect families in this world, like anything in this world is not entirely perfect. This is applicable in the context of grandparent-grandchildren relationships also.
You may think that grandchildren are always close and love to be with their grandparents, as you find in the movies. But in reality, some grandchildren ignore their grandparents for many reasons.
And grandparents hurt themselves by thinking, why do my grandchildren ignore me? Let’s consider some of those commonly found reasons.
- Your grandchildren may think that you are distant and not relate to them
In some circumstances, you may see that your grandparents ignore you when they find that you are distant and unable to connect to them. In this situation, you better talk to your children without thinking about why do my grandchildren ignore me and inform them about your feelings.
Then you can create a plan that would help you to close your grandchildren to your life. Count on your children the way you can meet your grandchildren in the way they like. It would help if you conveyed to them that you are not a snob.
- Not spending time with your grandchildren
This is a widespread reason. Most of the grandchildren ignore their grandparents when they haven’t enough time to be with them and play with them.
It may be because you do not let them, or you are busy with your retirement dreams and do not spare a place for your grandchildren in the schedule.
- Your children will be a reason
It is essential to talk with your children because; sometimes children get angry or resentful towards their parents as they grow. And they fail to show that to their kids unconsciously.
Always it is not expressed through words, and their actions also will prove their dislike to you. As an example, they may comment about your behavior or characteristics in front of them with distaste, and your children may ignore your words. Then it will be followed by your grandchildren also.
So, it’s your fault that you haven’t been a good parent to your children when they are growing up.
- Your grandchildren will feel your dislike towards them
This can also be seen within grandparents, although it hurts your heart. There you may notice that your children do not follow the same rules when growing their children as you did for them.
It will be conflicting in front of uncontrollable grandchildren. So, they might not be happy to have their company and when they feel that they, of course, ignore you.
So, instead of forcing your grandchildren to spend time with you or thinking, why do my grandchildren ignore me? It is better to understand the reasons for their ignorance and find solutions for them.
How do I bond with my grandchildren?
Have you seen that there are solid grandparent-grandchildren relationships in some families, and some grandparents always hurt themselves by thinking, why do my grandchildren ignore me?
Have you ever thought of how they managed to have such strong relationships and others not?
Here I will present you with some methods to create a strong bond between grandparents and grandchildren.
- Increase the frequency of dealing with grandchildren
The grandparents who can maintain more company with their grandchildren can have solid and close relationships. There may be many obstacles to physical contact like distance, parental divorce, etc.
But they can use technology like video calls and audio calls to continue their relationships. Make frequent calls and surprise visits to strengthen the relationship if you are not living in the same house. But there is no issue for those who are living together.
They can effectively create strong bonds with their grandchildren by always being with them.
- Own a unique role in a child’s life
Children always like fun and enjoyment. It will effectively close grandparents and grandchildren when they together engage in fun activities.
Let your child be with his grandparents as friends, and there they will exchange all their moments of life, and it will be a good way of making their bond strong.
- Share the favorites of the child with you
You can be part of his activities, and it will close you with your grandparents by creating a strong bond with them.
- Give special role for the grandparents in the family
The family should give this to the grandparents. Accordingly, grandparents can have a greater opportunity to bond with them when grandparents provide childcare for grandchildren.
Their regular presence affects their closeness rather than the function they perform. If you are taken in charge of your grandchildren or regularly play with them, you can be close to your grandchildren.
- Reach consensus of values
Early values are getting by grandchildren from their grandparents and parents. They like to grow their own set of values as they become mature. But due to the generation gap, the younger generation finds that the older generations are prone to hypocrisy and lack tolerance.
Therefore to have a strong relationship with your grandchildren, you should not abandon their values and standards. And your willingness to listen to them will sharpen your relationship.
How do you deal with disrespectful grandchildren?
Although you love your grandchildren, you may find that they still misbehave. And you can see that it is tough to practice disciplinary measures. And sometimes they ignore you and make you wonder why my grandchildren ignore me.
Therefore it is essential to be aware of the way of dealing with such disrespectful grandchildren. Here I will give some tips to deal with them effectively.
- Talk with your children the things about your grandchildren
Please discuss with your children before using any disciplinary measures because; they are your grandchildren’s parents. It would be best if you remembered that your son-in-law or daughter-in-law is not a person who grew up in your house.
Their attitudes about the matter will be different. Therefore discuss the problem with them and find solutions together by supporting their parenthood and the house rules.
- Execute your own rules
Here, you may use the same rules in your own house used when your children were small. But it is important to remember when you set up rules that your grandchildren need to obey.
As an example, your children may allow their kids to stand and dance on the sofa at their house, but you do not let them do it in your house.
You have the right to expect your grandchildren to follow the rules at your home. The thing is that you have to set up clear and definite rules.
- Be consistent
Here you have to make sure to practice consistency. Your grandchildren may not follow any rule implemented by you if you are not bound to your words.
It will only frustrate you. If you are consistent, there will be no issue with both your children and grandchildren.
- Love them more than ever
This method will help you not only to deal with your disrespectful grandchildren, but also it will help you to make your relationship strong.
Accordingly, although you need to discipline your grandchildren with sharpness and firmness, you should still make sure to show them how much you love your grandchildren afterward.
When they understand that you try to discipline them because of their wrong actions and reflect your love and approval of them as a person, they will be closer with you and become disciplined.
- Ignoring the behaviors that only seek the attention
Selective ignoring is the most effective way of reflecting that you let your grandchild away from their minor disrespect. When you are ignoring the destructive behaviors of your grandchildren, it will stop you from doing the more critical tasks.
As an example, if they refuse to clean their mess after you asked them to do so, do not go too long arguing about their disrespectful behaviors. Just explain the results of refusing your instructions.
When both of you become calm after a few minutes, discuss the results of their destructive behaviors and what will happen if outsiders notice those behaviors, and how it will be hard for them to find friends.
Tips for improving the grandparent grandchildren behaviors
A strong grandparent grandchildren relationship is beneficial for the good health and wellbeing of both. So, how can grandparent-grandchildren relations be improved?
Here are some tips that will help you.
- Often visits
If the grandparents live in a separate house or a state, plan trips to visit them that can fill the child with excitement and anticipation. It will serve both of them with special memories.
- Teach skills
Here, the grandparents can pass their hobbies and skills to the grandchildren. You can recollect your childhood memories that will bring fun and enjoyment to the grandchildren. And it will improve your relationship.
- Spend more time with your grandchildren by doing the things they enjoy
Playing together and being together with your grandchildren is an effective way to improve your relationships. The grandchildren may enjoy simple activities like; building blocks, playing ball, reading together, etc.
And when your grandchildren are young you can take them to sports events, watch films together, do exercises together and they will make them happy and remain you with solid relationships.
- Do not criticize or judge your grandchildren
Acceptance without judgment is one of the valuable gifts you can give your grandchildren. Then you will be a respected and trusted mentor in their lives.
And when you congratulate them for their success without criticizing them, it will help them develop their value, self-esteem, and sense of being loved.
- Be a mentor and nurture to your grandchildren
You can be a loving advocate to your grandchildren through your life experiences. And guide them in life and encourage them to create a sense of worth. It will help them to face their life challenges.
And provide a safe harbor for them that they will feel safe and secure. And love them and make them think for them. That will raise them in times of stress and difficulty.
There you can always open a door for him in your heart and welcome their confidence and especially listen to them carefully. It will make your relationship stronger.
Conclusion – Why do my grandchildren ignore me?
We have discussed important facts about why do my grandchildren ignore me, how I bond with my grandchildren, and how to deal with disrespectful grandchildren. Finally, I have provided you with some tips to improve the grandparent-grandchildren relationship.
I think this article effectively works for grandparents who want to create strong relationships with their grandchildren.
It can be commonly seen that some grandchildren ignore their grandparents. There are many reasons behind them. Sometimes the fault is in the grandparents’ hands. But they remain by thinking about the reasons why my grandchildren are ignoring me?
But it will not give you solutions. You want to find the reasons for their ignorance and what you can do to solve the problems by creating solid relations with them.
Thank you for reading. Stay tuned with BestFamilyLife for more good content.