Divorce

Staying Together For The Kids? Pros And Cons

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Family is the fundamental unit of society, and it plays a significant role in the life of a person. Especially, kids need the affection of their family, and they are seeking the love and caring of both parents.

When parents have matters between them and realize that they can’t get along together, the matter of staying together for the kids comes to discussion. Before deciding to separate or divorce, parents have to oversee the matter from the kids’ perspective as well.

Since family and the parents are very crucial in the life of a child, it is better to be concerned about whether there is any possibility of staying together than divorcing.

So, is it good to stay together for the kids rather than separate when there are worse problems between two partners that prove they cannot live together? There are both pros and cons in this matter. When it comes to pros, it will allow time to heal the matter, financial stability, reduce negative behavior of kids and social stress, and be a good role model for kids. It discourages them from divorcing as adults. On the other hand, deciding to stay together for the kids may have cons as well. It can create a stressful situation, negative impacts on kids, domestic violence, stagnation of your life, and adverse impacts on the future relationships of kids.

Therefore, you should consider all the aspects carefully and should take the right decision whether to stay together or divorce. 

Through this article, you will understand the background of staying together only for the kids rather than separating. Then let’s discuss the pros and cons of staying together for the kids separately.

Finally, I’ll provide you with some tips to stay together with your partner for the sake of kids.

Suppose you are a parent with the realization of an unhealthy relationship with your spouse and in the face of deciding whether to divorce or stay together for the kids. In that case, this article may be an informative source for you.

So, let’s get started! 

Can you stay together only for the kids?

Family is the basic component of society, and it is the fundamental formulator of a person’s life. Family and the love and caring of both parents are important for a kid, and they want that warmth to cherish their lives.

Some parents decide to divorce and separate when they face severe issues in their relationship that makes it difficult to stay together.

However, suppose you are a parent that is pressure-up with a harsh relationship with your partner. In that case, you may be in the pressing concern of divorcing or staying together for the kids. 

Many parents think that divorce will negatively affect the lives of kids. Therefore they are deciding to endure the stressful situation because of kids.

Yes, your divorce can affect your kids’ lives since they need the security and caring of both parents. Divorce of parents can cause stress, feeling of insecurity, negative impacts on their studies and social lives.

Sometimes disruptive behaviors, fear, aggression, anxiety, sense of guilt, emotional problems, regression, and academic problems can be seen in kids whose parents got separated.

To reduce such outcomes, some parents decide to stay together for the kids as a solution even though the relationship conditions with the spouse are worse. 

On the other hand, sometimes your separation can positively affect you and your kids. Kids feel secure when both parents are together within the family, and they love and care for each other.

But a secure and favorable situation may not be created when there are always arguments, tensions, and conflicts between parents, and the conditions within the family and home environment are more complicated and stressful.

This situation may affect kids more than the divorce of parents. Therefore, divorce is better than staying together in an uncomfortable relationship for the kids in such a condition.

Kids may be affected by temporary disruption with it, but it’ll be good for them as well. Therefore, consider the situation deeply when deciding to separate or stay together only for the kids.

Pros of staying together for the kids

Suppose you are more worried about kids’ mental health and safety within a two-parent family than a single-parent family environment and decide to stay together with your spouse by considering kids as the only reason.

In that case, there will be several outcomes of your decision. You may experience some pros of staying together for the kids instead of divorcing and separating from your partner. 

1. Time to heal

Time will be a good medication for many issues. There is a chance of finding solutions for the matters you and your partner faced with the time by staying together.

You both have a relationship to marry and have kids; therefore, it is good to think about forgiving each other and letting time heal the wound rather than taking instant steps to divorce. 

2. Financial stability

Suppose you decide to divorce and stay in a single-parent family with your kids. In that case, your financial stability may be challenged.

With huge living costs within contemporary society, it is not much easy to live with kids on the income of one parent. Therefore, by staying together, you’ll be released from the financial burden of fulfilling the kids’ needs individually.

When both parents are doing jobs, and you are living together due to kids, then the kids’ financial needs are divided between you.

3. Reduce negative behaviors of kids

The negative behavior can be mostly witnessed through the kids from single-parent families than two-parent settings.

Kids may feel insecure, stressed, aggressive, and fearful, addicted to several things, and have weaknesses in education due to the issues of parents’ separation.

It will be an emotional challenge for them. The decision to stay together with your partner may reduce this negative behavior and impact kids. 

4. Minimize social stress

If you get divorced from your spouse, society may see and treat you with different interpretations. It can create a stressful background for you as well as your kids.

Staying together will minimize this social stress and the negative feelings of the divorce. Sp, staying together is better in this aspect, and you can go for methods like counseling to manage your issues. 

5. Role model for the future of kids

If you manage your stressful and cold relationship with your partner healthily for the sake of kids, it will be a good role model for kids.

Then, they’ll also be less likely to go for divorce as adults by witnessing the compromising and management of the less-perfect relationship of their parents. 

Cons of staying together for the kids

On the other hand, even though you decide between staying together for the kids by considering the sake of children, it may have con factors.

It is not easy to stay with a relationship with which you no longer prefer to be and have several conflicts and arguments. 

1. Create a stressful situation

When you and your spouse no longer love each other and do not cherish the company, the relationship between you two won’t be a favorable one.

Therefore, staying together only for the reason of kids will cold the relationship further, and it will create a stressful situation within the family.

You, your spouse, as well kids may feel uncomfortable, and it will be too difficult to move forward.

2. Negative impact on kids

When kids become the only reason to stay together, there won’t be any other preference or excitement in your life to live with your partner.

Then, conflicts can escalate between the two of you regularly, even for little reasons. Constantly being exposed to the escalation in the home environment can affect the kids adversely.

Kids may begin to think that they are the reason for those conflicts and may blame themselves. Depression, anxiety, fear, addiction to drugs, alcohol, abuse, and academic pitfalls can happen due to this.

3. Pause and make your life stagnate

Deciding to stay together with your partner only for the well-being of kids may pause your life with no hope and happiness.

The future of your relationship may be unpredictable whether you may be able to restore, divorce, or have another relationship. It will stagnate your life, and you won’t have a chance to enjoy it.

4. Domestic violence 

Some parents decide to endure every harsh condition because of kids’ sake, and they may experience domestic violence as well.

This will be a miserable situation, and no good can be created for your kids as well. You’ll suffer physically and mentally through such a decision.

Then it is better to separate and make your kids understand the situation.

5. It affects the kid’s future relationships

The negative outlook of parents’ relationship will allow kids to define every relationship as negative similar to their parents.

It may adversely affect kids’ future relationships, and they will see them in a negative overview. With their childhood experience, kids too behave the same with parents in future.  

Tips for staying together for the kids

Suppose you realize that you no longer have a healthy relationship with your spouse and decide not to divorce from the partner, only for the reason of kids. In that case, you have to be concerned about several facts while staying together for the kids.

Even though it is for the kids, you decided to live with your partner longer. Therefore, rather than making life worse, both of you can follow several tips in staying together to make the situation favorable. Try them out with your partner.

1. Discuss the problems

If you decide to stay together, you have to discuss the problems you are having with your partner.

You need to understand the matters between both of you and then express yourself to the partner how you feel and what you expect from staying together in the new situation.

Listen to your spouse’s views as well and make adjustments convenient to both.

2. Make kids aware of the reality

It’s better to explain the situation to your kids and make them aware of it. You have to understand the reality that no parent can provide a fully perfect childhood to their children, and there may be ups and downs.

Don’t think too much and worry about the impact on kids and let them understand it with time and adapt. 

3. Demarcation of responsibilities

Separately divide responsibilities of kids with your partner and demarcate boundaries of your relationship.

Then your partner won’t have a chance to neglect the responsibilities of kids, and financial issues too can be resolved. 

4. Counseling

If you have difficulty making decisions and facing problems, it is better to contact a relationship counselor.

A counselor will support you to resolve the problem and make the right decision. They will listen and allow you to rethink the situation and explore yourself to take the better option.

You can go for counseling individually or with your partner.

5. Control emotions

When staying within the family structure together for kids, you have to control yourself to reduce conflicts.

If you have decided to live together for kids’ sake, then you shouldn’t have to create a worse situation for kids.

Therefore, don’t be too aggressive or sensitive and control your emotions when interacting with your partner. 

Conclusion – Should you be staying together for the kids?

Now, you have got a clear idea about whether to stay together only for the sake of kids or not and the pros and cons of staying together for the kids. Then, you are aware of the tips you can follow to stay with your kids’ family setting instead of divorcing.

So, if you are still trapped with the matter, try to think logically about the situation and compare the pros and cons. Think about every aspect rather than worrying about your kids only. Your decision will fold a new page of your life as well as your kids’.

Thank you for reading. Stay tuned with BestFamilyLife for more good content.

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